from Follow Beauty, Lisa C. Briggs
I've been saying this, I know. But it's importance keeps coming back to me. For me.. and for you.Make space for quiet and stillness now. More than you ever have, more than you think you need, more than you feel you even 'deserve'...
Creating space, stepping back from what others may want or need for you. From the kinds of engagements you typically offer and join with. From the mindless repetitive activities. From a lot of chatter on screens or off. From putting your energy into things that don't give back.
More and more I see the deep need for quiet and stillness.. and this is from somebody who lives quietly and alone already. Even more.
And some people will take it personally especially if they are used to you being available in some ways.
And it's not easy to set those kinds of boundaries b/c we typically question whether we are entitled to space, to quiet, to not gratifying others' needs.
The last one is the BIG one.
Even those of us who have worked out pretty good healthy boundaries still may grapple a bit with this. As women we are socialized in myriad ways to give, to over ride our own needs or depletion, or whatever.. Trained to go beyond and to keep giving.
Not anymore baby.
And.. please hear this. It's not about doing it with anger, or defensiveness, or a heavy hand.
We are still in the season of deep dormancy, and we are still exhausted and living through so much assault on our sense of normalcy and the rest... we are still in shock... and more shocks arrive daily.
The best things you can do for yourself... if and when possible.. even for a minute or two b/c trust me even a minute or two can reset your nervous system and refresh you a bit.
Sleep.. or just lie down, even on the floor.. for a few minutes. Or close your eyes and focus on your breathing.. put your hand over your heart while you're there. If you can't stop your mind from chattering (and.. it's not the mind's nature or job to be quiet)... add a mantra, or count your breath. Sit and listen to the silence. Listen to the hum of the world. SEE if you can find the sound of the Divine, or of the earth... See if you can sense your energy field... or the colors in your auric field.
Send a love note to somebody on the ethers.. See their face and send them love and prayers.. or a wish, or a smile. Be a tree and send your roots down and feel them weave into the rich loamy earth.
See if you can slow the breath down and smooth it out... or see if you can double the length of the exhale. Or take out your crayons or pastels and let your hand move across the page with no direction or plan. Or write about the moment... what your senses pick up... or what emotions are laying in your physical body... or what thoughts are jumping around. And come back to your breathing... and just notice without fixing or changing or making anything have to be different.
Any or all of these... give yourself these gifts of quiet and peace and soothing and stillness....Take the need for this seriously. Yes the kids yes the dog, yes the job, yes the partner, yes the list, yes the whatever... You first.. Fill yourself up first.. you know why.. you know it matters... but you have to do it, and you have to negotiate for it much of the time... and you can.
And once you do... and the world doesn't end (even if somebody doesn't like it... and somebody probably will NOT).. even then.. when you see you are still overall safe and not dead... you will be able to do it again.
And i want that for you.. and I am doing it for me... and can teach you how to manage all of this... I promise.
My clients gets loads of support and strategy around this, and their lives change... fast. In the best ways. Because we have to be able to tend ourselves before putting out so much into the world.
This is not luxury or privilege.. this is how to survive, stay healthy, stay available for everything else that wants a piece of you.
Reach out, I'm here. (Unless I am in quiet :)) xo
