First of all, I want to tell you that this is not my essay. I think that the message is important to most of us. We have been taught and socialized to always agree to do things when asked of us. Sometimes these can take over your life. I gave about 10 years to an organization...it was terrible...but I finally said no...No More of my time. The local organization did close afterward, but I would not continue. I am better for saying No!
One of the foundations of self-love: Boundaries. Your ability to say “no” to people is often an indicator of how well you’re loving yourself. If you are constantly saying yes to people and situations that you want to say “no” to you end up being exhausted, burnt out, and with little time for yourself and for self-care.
When I first created my Self-Love Planner, one of the things I noticed right away was how much time I spent doing things that I didn’t want to do. At that time of my life, I was absolutely miserable. And still, I said yes.
It’s okay to say “no”. No, when you don’t want to do something. No, when someone makes you uncomfortable and treats you in a way you don’t want to be treated. No, when it will affect you in a negative way physically, mentally, or emotionally.
Is that something you do easily? It takes practice.
When you are able to say “no” to other people it means that you are putting yourself first. You may even feel selfish, but you know what it really is? Creating clear, consistent, boundaries and loving yourself and that is necessary for living a happy life.
We have a finite reserve of inner energy. If you give to others and leave nothing for yourself you’ll be miserable.
There was a time in my life when saying “no” literally felt like one of the hardest things in the world. Someone would ask me to do something I didn’t want to do or go somewhere I didn’t want to go and instantly my body would go into panic mode. My palms would get sweaty, my stomach would feel queasy, and my brain would mentally run through the list of all of the things I would be missing out and sacrificing if I said yes.
All of the hours I wasted on people I didn’t like but spent time anyway because it was polite.
From www.blessingmanifesting.com
One of the foundations of self-love: Boundaries. Your ability to say “no” to people is often an indicator of how well you’re loving yourself. If you are constantly saying yes to people and situations that you want to say “no” to you end up being exhausted, burnt out, and with little time for yourself and for self-care.
When I first created my Self-Love Planner, one of the things I noticed right away was how much time I spent doing things that I didn’t want to do. At that time of my life, I was absolutely miserable. And still, I said yes.
It’s okay to say “no”. No, when you don’t want to do something. No, when someone makes you uncomfortable and treats you in a way you don’t want to be treated. No, when it will affect you in a negative way physically, mentally, or emotionally.
Is that something you do easily? It takes practice.
When you are able to say “no” to other people it means that you are putting yourself first. You may even feel selfish, but you know what it really is? Creating clear, consistent, boundaries and loving yourself and that is necessary for living a happy life.
We have a finite reserve of inner energy. If you give to others and leave nothing for yourself you’ll be miserable.
There was a time in my life when saying “no” literally felt like one of the hardest things in the world. Someone would ask me to do something I didn’t want to do or go somewhere I didn’t want to go and instantly my body would go into panic mode. My palms would get sweaty, my stomach would feel queasy, and my brain would mentally run through the list of all of the things I would be missing out and sacrificing if I said yes.
All of the hours I wasted on people I didn’t like but spent time anyway because it was polite.
All of the times I was treated badly by people and played it off as a joke because it was so hard to say “No, that’s not okay.” Then I learned something.
My needs matter. YOUR needs matter. It is our job to take care of our needs. It is not your job to take care of everyone else’s needs. You have to give to yourself, you have to nurture yourself. When those things are laid to the wayside by someone else’s wants and needs it is time to re-evaluate your boundaries.
When someone asks you to do something tune into your intuition. What does your gut say? What is your first instinct? Go with that, that is listening to the truth of your heart. What does your body say? Are you extra tired or stressed out? Even if it’s something you want to do, maybe it’s time to take your body’s side this time and bow out so that you have extra time for yourself to rest and relax.
You have to learn how to say no. Remember that you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone, but honesty is the best policy. Work on saying “no” and saying it right away.
I try to do it with as much love and compassion as I can. I get asked to do things all of the time. I get asked to work on projects, I know that I only have so much energy. When I add extra stuff – I get burnt out really easily. Even though I love those people that think of me and believe in me, I still have to say no.
It really sucks. I feel bad when I do it, but not as bad as I know I’d feel if I was stressed out trying to meet a deadline, or suffering from burn-out. Or how disappointed I would feel putting my own plans on the back burner so that I could do something for someone else.
What things are you doing that you don’t want to do?
How can you say “no” to those kinds of things in the future?
From www.blessingmanifesting.com
