I read this article today, and decided to share it on my blog.
Re-entry into polite society is proving to be a little bumpy.
Of course, it’s the people-have-lost-their-ever loving-minds incidents that make the news, but they are also a reflection of a deeper trend; Americans appear to have forgotten their manners.
Our ‘fight’ instincts are triggered
“We’re going through a time where physiologically, people’s threat system is at a heightened level,” says Bernard Golden, a psychologist. This period of threat has been so long that it may have had a damaging effect on people’s mental health, which for many has then been further debilitated by isolation, loss of resources, the death of loved ones and reduced social support. “During COVID there has been an increase in anxiety, a reported increase in depression, and an increased demand for mental health services,” he adds. Lots of people, in other words, are on their very last nerve. This is true, he adds, whether they believe the virus is an existential threat or not. “Half the people fear COVID,” says Golden. “Half the people fear being controlled.”
Heightening the anxiety, the current situation is completely unfamiliar to most people. “Nobody expected what happened. We didn’t have time to prepare psychologically,” says Cristina Bicchieri, of University of Pennsylvania. Then, just as it seemed like the danger had passed, other limitations arrived; staff shortages, product shortages, longer delivery times. “People think, ‘O.K, now we can go shopping and go out,’ and they find that life is not back to normal,” Bicchieri says. “There is an enormous amount of frustration.”
This is an atmosphere which can ruffle even normally very calm people, or in which very slight infractions can set off those with less of a handle on their emotions. And with an overloaded mental health care system, those who need help may not be getting it. So true.
The power dynamic has been completely upended. “It’s displaced anger,” says Bernard. “They’re angry about other things but they take it out in those encounters.”
But it goes deeper: Impolite interactions are not the only thing that’s on the rise; crimes are too. “We’re seeing measurable increases in all kinds of crimes, so that suggests to me that there is something changing,” says Jay Van Bavel, associate professor of psychology. He suggests the reasons for the rise in both are structural and profound; America has lost sense of social cohesion. That’s something that if that’s not addressed is going to continue to cause turmoil.
At the very beginning of the pandemic people just didn’t know how to be polite. It was hard to communicate a smile, and it became necessary to avoid rather than embrace people. But after a certain point, the unintentional rudeness became intentional and deliberate.
If the rash of bad behavior is not just short-term impatience with the unique situation and actually a symbol of something much deeper, then unwinding it will be more difficult. Meanwhile psychologists suggest that people slow down, breathe out more slowly and lower their voices when encountering difficult social situations or irate people so as not to make any situation worse.
