Life Coaching by Nancy Levin.
How we show up in relationships impacts those relationships. I’m sharing three foundational life coaching skills you can start using today to improve your professional and personal relationships.
1. Active listening
Active listening involves training yourself to listen for what is being said - and what is not being said - in a conversation. When you listen actively, you begin to tune in to the person in front of you instead of only half-listening while planning what you’re going to say in response.
Active listening is also an exercise in self-trust that we will know what we need to say. Once you start practicing this life coaching skill, you won’t miss out on what’s being said in a meeting or at a social gathering. Instead of thinking of the coolest or smartest thing you can say, you’ll shift to knowing you can share the truest thing in the moment.
2. Suspending judgment and being agenda-free
Whether in work, life, parenting, or partnership, being able to show up as a clean, clear vessel instead of pushing our agenda onto others is a powerful skill. We do this by setting aside the very human tendency to judge, predict, or try to control a situation. By remaining open and receptive to what a person is sharing, you can explore what’s true for them instead of striving to get them to adopt your truth. This reduces friction in relationships and allows for people to maintain autonomy and clarity when interacting.
3. Setting boundaries
Knowing when to say yes and how to say no when you’re a people-pleaser or conflict avoidant DEFINITELY takes practice.
But first, I’m going to let you in on a little secret about boundaries:
This means you get to stop blaming everyone else for your life not being the way you want it to be.
Ouch, right? Setting boundaries means really getting to know yourself and your limits, and then not overriding those limits. For example, if you have a can-do, over-achieving personality, you might take on more responsibility at work or home than is yours to take and end up feeling resentful about it.
Here’s another secret for you: Boundaries alleviate burnout.
Instead of saying yes and getting buried so deep that you feel like you want to just quit everything, you can learn how to have a conversation. Setting a boundary can look like, “This falls outside of my scope of work; how are we going to handle that in terms of time or money?” or “I’ve been doing more of the housework because I work from home, but I need more help. Can we talk about what you can take on?”
Life coaching skills create the scaffolding and support system to connect you to yourself. This is why I’m so invested in living a life on your own terms. If you’re not doing that, you’re ultimately going to be unsatisfied. When you're self-connected and self-directed first and foremost, and when you know your limits and desires, you’ll make choices and take actions in support of that. And that’s how you live a sustainable, satisfying, and meaningful life.
When I discovered the deceptively simple but deeply transformational power of life coaching skills, I was inspired to leave my job in the corporate world and become a certified life coach. I hope you’re able to make some time to apply these skills in your life and work and let me know how it goes for you.
By Nancylevin.com
