The other night I woke in the middle of the night and my thoughts wouldn’t stop racing. The more I tried to stop them the more my brain kept finding more things to think about. Finally, I ended up telling myself, “Fine, just think about all the stuff that’s on your mind. That matters more than worrying about sleep.”
That’s the last thing I remember before the morning sun hit my face.
Sometimes I think we don’t allow ourselves time to think or wonder or ponder stuff. We get so hard on ourselves when we worry. And sometimes I think all those thoughts come out in a fast loop when we finally get to rest.
And then, because we are tired or frustrated about all those thoughts. Well, last night, it took about fifteen minutes of me being frustrated before I gave myself permission, in a way, to not sleep and to just think.
To feel.
Our emotions and thoughts can’t stay stuffed down all the time. We are humans. We have to think and process and let go. But the only way to let go is to allow ourselves to deal.
I’m notorious for stuffing things inside and trying to avoid dealing. And honestly, that’s why I think I wake on those sleepless nights.
Am I tired this morning? A little bit. But I can live with tired. That’s the other thing I told myself last night - you can deal with tired.
So don’t judge those sleepless nights so harshly. Maybe your brain is like, “Hey, I’ve got some stuff for you to deal with and let go of.” I knew I wasn’t going to solve things. I dealt with the anxiousness too. But in some ways, this morning, I feel a bit lighter. Freer.
Have a wonderful day. Be kind to yourself. Your emotions and thoughts - they matter - just like you.
-Rachel
