Wow, it is very difficult to believe that Hubby is on Diabetes pills for 10 days now. His disposition is turning a complete change in behavior. His still loses control at times....but not raging. Not nice to me....but much improved.

My prayer were answered, such a huge relief. 

Melody Ross

I must write this post. It is about Melody Ross. She is an incredible person that has suffered greatly, and is on a mission to help other women. If you haven't met her, and don't understand her calling....don't judge her....or say that she is a cult leader. That is insulting and you are incredibly desperate and need her help.

Melody's Manifesto -

The believe in the power of working hard every day to create what is deepest in the heart and soul...

I believe we should all help each other along. I there is goodness everywhere and I believe in both seeking it out and constantly creating more of it.

I believe in you, and I believe in me.   Melody

She is my friend, she is a "real" person, not like all the fake people I know in my life. She is upbeat, fun, and understanding.

Melody has been my muse, I have met her, and I understand her mission.

She delivers uplifting messages, that really meet my heart's great need for a kind person in my life. I need it... Kindness for me is not something that I have in my everyday life.
.
She inspires me to be the person that I want to be... to bring kindness and support to others. And to help make life better for others. What? You say?  I do one simple kind thing to people I don't know...I look them in the eye, and smile at them and say hi. I thank the people who help in even small things. I open doors for disabled, Mom's with children, and my elders. I am passing along a small thing, but that may help someone and change their day.

The Difficult Times in Our Lives

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It Might Not Get Easier, But You Can Get Stronger

by Melody Ross | Dec 21, 2019 | Blog

If you’re in a difficult time of life that won’t be over anytime soon,  

this is for you.

There are times in life that are not going to get easier for a long while, 

even with our very best efforts. Illnesses, financial problems, 

relationship complications—there are some difficulties in life that aren’t 

going to quickly go away. So, rather than waiting for these times to be 

over, the best thing we can do is work up the strength and endurance 

to meet those challenges in ways that feel like self-respect.

So often, we are in situations we wouldn’t have chosen for ourselves, 

putting us in a place we wish we could run away from, but, here we are, 

having to figure it out. So, it takes a new focus. 

How do we do this?

In times like these, we have to dedicate our focus to becoming 

stronger, rather than focusing our energy trying to escape from our 

trials. 

Some of our life trials are a marathon, so we have to pace ourselves 

and grow stronger.

And we can!

It is hard. You need to deal with anger and grief before you’ve 

got to get back to figuring things out and carrying on.

You are making it through, and you will keep making it through.

And friend, just because things are difficult, it doesn’t mean you can’t 

smile. This is the only way to make it sometimes! 

We can notice the beautiful little mercies, and we must make time to 

seek out the beauty that’s always there. We can appreciate 

the moments of happiness, comfort, and rest. We can create moments 

in between the battles that bring us peace.

You don’t have to suffer so much, even when there is still a long road 

ahead. You can sing as you keep walking— and find life good. You 

can focus on the mercies that show up just in time to help you take the 

next step, and show gratitude in beautiful ways.  You have a deep well of 

strength that is important in difficult times of life. 

We are resilient, incredible creatures. We can do so much more 

than we think we can. We really can have good days inside of impossible

situations. We really can find beauty inside the bonfire that seems to be

our life.

That, my friend, is how you become a strong. You were born for 

this. You are doing so much better than you think you are doing . . . you

are getting stronger and stronger every day. Your beauty is sparkling

brightly from inside of you because of it. You are a beautiful sight to 

behold. Thank you for being you.

You are so very, very loved.

Xoxo Melody

Old Man Crap - Part 2

The Old Man's blood tests - finally some reason, Diabetes.

This edited article is from  -  Very Well Health

The mood swings caused by low blood sugar are common to those with diabetes. And anger and frustration can also be common reactions when someone has a chronic disease. It's a lot to cope with, and at times it may really be upsetting to have to deal with diabetes day after day for a lifetime.

Your partner's diabetes may cause you to overlook or make excuses for anger and rage. However, anger that escalates into physical, verbal, or emotional abuse is not something to tolerate, and it is treatable. Men can help themselves with self-care and preparation, most severe mood swings are avoidable.

What's sometimes called "diabetic rage" can be dangerous, because it may involve behaviors a person isn't consciously aware of. Physiologically, when someone's blood sugar fluctuates, spikes, or drops, it can produce feelings of anger, anxiety, or depression that are essentially out of the control of the person experiencing them.

Every person has a right to get angry sometimes, but it isn't normal for someone with diabetes to erupt into anger and take it out on others.

It's not your responsibility to make sure your partner consistently eats well, but knowing the crucial role diet plays in managing mood for people with diabetes may help you understand their condition better. 

From - Very Well Health
..............................................................................................................

My personal perspective is - there is a probable cause for the behavior. The problem for me is, it is still making my crazy...I have to get away from him. I need a long due vacation. I made a decision to stay about 2 yrs ago. I have plans. I will continue to stay, and see what happens over time.

I tell you this...It is very unpleasant to have him rage at me in the middle of a Costco store. He also rages at people walking, pets, driving, the television, the mailman,  the weather man, curses all the time, and at anything and everything,   ....................  This is the honest truth. 

Today, I had an interesting experience happen to me. I had one of his friends look me directly in the eyes. He sincerely, and seriously asked me if I was OK. I was seen and felt understood by a caring person. Yes, I did.

As I write this with tears streaming down my cheeks....this is the hardest thing I have had to do in my life, and to write about in this blog.

Protect Your Emotional Health

Old Man Crap....I want to run away...

What to Do If Your Husband Is Constantly in a Bad Mood 

By Luz Ivonne Ream  Dec 26, 2017

Personal note: I live with this every single day!

What can you do if your husband is in a bad mood every day? Can you change a difficult personality? 

We’ve all had days when everything seems to be irritating to the point where you just wish you could crawl under a blanket and never come out of the bed. 

The situation gets more complicated when the bad mood is happening to your husband and even worse when it seems to never end. So what to do if your husband just seems to be cranky all the time and nothing cheers him up? And can you even do anything. 

You need to realize though that whatever is bugging him, it’s almost never related to you. Most likely, he’s either feeling tired, bored, demotivated or just mad about his health or life in some other aspect. In most cases, there’s nothing you could do differently and even if his bad mood is triggered by you in some way, you’re not to blame in the way he reacts.

Believe me, if it’s hard for you to be with someone like that, try being that person. It’s even harder for them to live with themselves.

Emotional reactions are deeply personal and are never a reflection of the other person. Think of it this way: if you get angry at a pedestrian crossing the road from the wrong place, is the pedestrian really to blame in your anger? You could have just as well reacted completely neutrally.

In a moment of “lucidity,” when things have calmed down, talk about it and help them to understand  how you feel when you see that them losing control.

You can make strategies and pacts, such as: “When I see that you are losing control or creating a negative atmosphere in the home, I will leave you alone and that will be the sign that you need to calm down.”

So as you see, reactions are related to our personal emotions, not to others. Offense is taken, not given, and the same applies to your husband’s moodiness. No matter the reason, his bad mood is in no way an implication of something you’ve done.

Marionberry Trellis

I had time the last two days to do some work in the garden. Every year the Marionberry canes must be cared for. I removed all the dead canes from last summer. Then, I selected the best new canes for trellising for the coming summer crop. I trained them around the trellis and trimmed them to fit the area. It is not a fun job, the thorns...the results are wonderful! The berry crop is plentiful and delicious. Look at everyones favorite, Marionberry Crisp!

Marionberry Crisp is one of the best summertime desserts. Especially with a little cinnamon that will have guests guessing what the secret ingredient is.

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Ingredients

For the Filling

• 8 Cups Marionberries fresh or frozen
• 1/2 Apple Granny Smith, grated
• 1/2 Cup Sugar
• 2 Tablespoons Flour
• 1/2 Teaspoon Cinnamon

For the Topping

• 1 Cup Flour
• 3/4 Cup Butter unsalted
• 1 1/2 Cups Rolled Oats Old Fashioned, quick works fine too-and we prefer Quaker Oats
• 1 1/2 cups Brown Sugar
• 1 Pinch salt
• Ice Cream for serving-we use Tillamook

Instructions

• Heat the oven to 350 degrees.
• In a bowl, mix together the berries, apple, sugar and flour.
• Pour into two tart dishes, or an 8x8" baking dish.
• In a large bowl, combine the flour, oats, sugar, salt and mix to combine thoroughly.
• Add the butter and using a pastry cutter, cut it into the mixture.
• Then, use your hands to gently squeeze and mix the topping until it all comes together when you squeeze it in the palm of your hand.
• Bake at 350 for 20-30 minutes or until golden on top.

Serve with ice cream

FROM - Oh Sweet Basil

Vintage Pennant Pillow

I saw this cute pillow for my glamping trailer, Prairie Flower. This idea came from Fabric Scout Studio. There are many of these pillows available for purchase.

My junking adventures sometimes have a few pennants...but...I don't know what I would do with them. Now I have found a creative idea. What a great idea! Keep your eyes looking for a special pennant to make one of these.

Fabric Scout Studio

Keep Going...

Dear Perplexed Soul, Sometimes when we are struggling or feeling uncomfortable or hurt, we know that something is wrong. The thing is, life is a complicated school. Here’s the truth, dear soul . . . life is hard. It is difficult for everyone. But difficult things do not have to be things that make us suffer. And just because something is difficult, does not mean it is the wrong thing for us or that we are doing it wrong. In fact, most of the best things in life are difficult . . . because of all of the figuring-out, the learning curve, the unexpected outcomes . . . because we often have to stick with something for a very long time before the fruits start to appear. We suffer when we believe if we are doing it right, everything is going to feel easy and good all of the time. This is just not true. Muscles have to stretch and heal as they grow and become stronger. We have to go through a period of not knowing as we learn. The middle parts of any journey can often get boring and tedious. We get disappointed sometimes because we want things to be different than they are. What we must do is keep going.  When we decide that we can do even difficult things with a smile on our face, we can have peace just about all the time. This may not seem possible . . . but just try it, friend. When we reframe difficulty into a part of the hero’s journey, we can remind ourselves that we are right on track, that difficulty is an important part of it, and that sticking with it feels really, really good. You are doing so much better than you think you are . . . and getting through the difficult times will be worth it. You are so very loved and so very capable. Keep going. xoxo, Melody